distraction

me:
haha, joy and i found a receipt on the ground, and we thought of you.

him:
Because of a receipt?

me:
whoever it was bought chips ahoy and a pint of milk from the cafe.

him:
Haha
Nice
I don't think that was mine though
When did you find it?

me:
tonight at 9:15
it was in allyson's garden

him:
Allyson's Garden?
What the hell were you guys doing in there?

me:
haha we were walking by it, and we saw something white blow in the air, so we picked it through the fence.

him:
Niiiice

me:
actually we were having a tea party with the gnomes.)

him:
Nice again
Are they hiding gnomes?
Only come out at certain times, because I've never seen them

me:
you have to know the special gnomes dance.
joy learned it when she traveled through umpa-lumpa.

him:
Interesting

me:
it involves running in a counter-clockwise circle, hopping from one foot to another while chanting the gnome creed backwards 9 times.

him:
The gnome creed?

me:
it's in gnomish...
goo, googley, googley, ichabod coo. shnappfiddle dapdiddle, hinkel doo.

him:
Wow
Where'd you learn that?

me:
when i was a little girl, i was stolen by a lawn gnome and taken into the woods for three hours.
he took me to the gnome colony down by the river and fed me sweet grass.
and he told me about how gnomes were really tree fairies who stood too close to the tree sap. When the tree leaked the sap, they were covered and became frozen.
when the humans found them, they thought it would be cute to paint them and set them around their yards as decorations.

him:
This is impressive
Well done
You should write it in volumes

me:
haha
that would be interesting.
i could call it lord of the lawns